At the Table
Dear Community,
As I sit to write to you today, my mind is still buzzing from an incredible experience at the Christy Brown x McMullen private dinner. Twenty-five women, gathered at a beautifully curated table, engaged in an evening that started by asking us to introduce ourselves—not by what we do or the roles we occupy, but by who we are at our core.
The idea was simple: Who are you, when you’re not talking about your work?
As I introduced myself, I realized just how much of my identity is tied to caring for others. I shared that I am the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter—a lineage that carries with it a sense of responsibility, of family, of those coming ‘up’ behind me and of community. This has shaped me in so many ways, and in reflecting on it, I couldn’t help but feel both the weight and the pride of that role.
But there was another layer to the evening, one that sparked deeper introspection. Each woman at the table was given a card with a different question to answer, and mine was simple yet revealing: Where in your life are you lazy, and what’s your excuse? I was grateful not to kick off sharing my truth with the room because I needed time to consider what it looks like today. And so I calmly listened and stayed present for my sister’s responses to their questions while looking inward for my own.
When it was my turn, I shared that this question challenged me to look at so many parts of my life and that while I don’t have a space currently, historically, I had been lazy with my self-care. I’ve spent so much time giving to others—whether in my career, with my family, or within my community—that I always ended up last on the list. I was the high performer and the one always taking care of everyone else. Something had to give, and it was always me.
This past year, though, I’ve made a conscious decision to change that. I’ve decided that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity—one that fuels my ability to keep pouring into the lives of others. Cultivating my community, especially my circle of Black women, has become a core part of my self-care. Saying “yes” to Black women has been my mantra in 2024—whether that’s showing up to support a friend, sharing resources, or simply being present in spaces where we’re celebrated and affirmed.
It was during this evening, surrounded by powerful women, that I was reminded of how deeply community and connection matter. Aisha, the brilliant mind behind Christy Brown, facilitates these dinners in a way that moves beyond the surface. It’s about building relationships that transcend our titles and the spaces we navigate professionally. She’s created something beautiful—a deck of cards with thoughtful, introspective questions that serve as conversation starters. I was immediately intrigued, already asking how I could support her in bringing this tool to more women, to more circles, to foster deeper connections. And if you know me, then you know before we began reading and answering the questions and then again when I stood to share my thoughts, I had asked how do we do exactly that? I said to Aisha, this is a gift I am grateful to receive and want to share with others so let me know how and where I can get access to them to do just that.
I made so many beautiful connections in addition to the one I made with Aisha and members of her team. This table and evening represented the connection we share as women of the diaspora and the power of community. While I can share more details, I will say there are some beautiful seeds that were planted in each is us and between some of us that I’m confident will yield powerful fruit for the women in that room and the rooms that will follow. Like so many, I found myself inspired, not just by Aisha and Sherri’s vision for the collection and this unique evening but by the collective energy of the women at that table. These moments reminded me of the importance of leaning into community, of showing up fully, and of recognizing the power we hold when we support one another.
As I move forward with the aggressive schedule I’ve set for my book manuscript, these reflections guide me. I’m pivoting from the directive tone I had initially taken, one that was strong but perhaps too focused on what we should be doing. Instead, I’m embracing a softer approach, one that acknowledges our vulnerabilities, our challenges, and our need for support as we navigate spaces not always built for us—spaces that sometimes seek to break us down.
This dinner was a reminder to center softness, connection, and care in everything I do. To ensure that while I push forward in my work, I don’t forget the importance of caring for myself and my community.
So, I leave you with this: Where in your life are you being “lazy” with your self care? And what’s your excuse? I hope you find the time and space to reflect on that, just as I have, and to take the necessary steps to honor yourself in this journey.
Until next time,
Edua